Chapter 11 Discussion Question #1

I have never made friendships that exist exclusively through cyberspace. The reason I have never done so is because I do not trust people. I have seen to many Dateline NBC, Dr. Phil, To Catch a Predator type shows where the person does not even begin to resemble their online persona. It is to easy for people to lie. I had a friend become very close to a man she met on an online dating service only to find out months after meeting him and becoming sexually involved with him that he was not who he claimed to be. He had a wife and a family. My friend was very upset when she found this out. She found out this information when his wife called her. That was the end of her first online relationship. She continues to meet men online but they never end up being who they embody online in person. I think that if you have to meet people online than you have some problems you need to deal with, within yourself so that you can build self esteem to meet people face to face.

Chapter 8 Discussion Question #3

A section I found interesting in chapter eight is promoting professionalism in workplace relationships and especially the section pertaining to office romance. Office romance often happens at the most inoportune of times. I think office romance is fine as long as you keep it at home and not in the office. Keeping your romance at home is virtually impossible. I think people we work closely with and spend a lot of time with are often who we end up feeling attracted to because of this close link through work. We see them most often five days a week and at outside company events. I once owned a business and made the mistake of hiring one of my employees girlfriends. They worked horribly together. She would get jealous of the way other employees looked at him while he would get upset if she talked to a customer for to long. I ended up losing a good employee over this and would never hire two people who are romantically linked again. Office romance success depends a lot on the level of maturity you posess as well.

Chapter 8 Discussion Question #2

I think the etiquette rules suggested in the text are very interesting. I know I am guilty of breaking the cell phone etiquette rules. I have answered the phone while having dinner in a restaurant, but only because it is either my husband or parents calling and it must be important. Answering machine etiquette is strange to me. It makes me think back to George on Sienfield who recorded a singing message to that song from some show. I thought that was a cool idea. Confrence calls are great as long as you can mute yourself out. I hate when people think they are muted and then proceed to talk or chew into the receiver for everyone else to hear. I never thought about faxes as having etiquette rules, but it is annoying to receive junk mail from people via fax. I am not the best at timing my communication. I usually just want to get it done and don't pay close attention to time. I have seen quite a few lude screen names and heard some strange ringtones. I try to make sure that my screen names and ringtones are ones I would feel comfortable with my family seeing in case by chance that happened. Call waiting is great but I often find myself ignoring it when I am having a conversation. I hate when people click over and leave me on hold so I guess I am trying to avoid what I hate.

Chapter 8 Discussion Question #1

Organizations are tied to the environment because they depend on their surroundings for resources and energy. Just like humans, organizations can not survive without a healthy environment to thrive in. Some examples of an organizations ties to the environment are energy, transportation and housing needs. The relationship between the school I attend and the city in which it is situated is that the two form a bond and feed off of one another. The college being in San Jose creates an environment rich in jobs and students. The college also draws people to the area it is in. In response to the demands of the college buildings are constructed and the area continues to thrive and grow. Their also is a negative impact on the environment caused by this tie as well, such as over crowding and pollution. The college has many obligations to the community. Some of the obligations include supporting the growth and development of the downtown area, expanding and allowing the entrance of new students as the metropolitan area continues to grow, and also being a self sufficient entity that not only takes from the city but also gives back in return.

Chapter 6 Discussion Question #3

The concept from the assigned reading that I have found to be useful and interesting is rules for disclosing. Rules for disclosing talks about the appropriate amount that an individual should or should not divulge in a particular setting. An example is that you should not walk up to a checker at Wal-Mart and tell them about the sexually transmitted disease you caught from a one night stand last month. This is because the checker does not have the knowledge to help you and although you may feel sharing your story is important, you may be burdening the other person. You may want to share that information however with the person you are about to become intimate with because you may be unfairly putting them at risk. The movie Closer has really great examples of the ways in which we disclose information about ourselves to significant others and also other people in our lives. Sometimes too much information is abd for a relationship. Being a girl I naturally want to know all there is to know about the people I choose to surround myself with. Men seem to stick to the disclosure rules much better than women.

Chapter 6 Discussion Question #2

I think we all have our own individual filtering system we use when looking at a person as a potential romantic partner. I think much of our filtering system is learned through our upbringing and we tend to look for qualities that are valued in our own culture. Ignorance leads me to judge others as unattractive because I feel everyone has a right to their opinion and a closed minded ignorant individual tends to not give others that respect. Duck's theory makes a lot of sense to me. It is like a roadmap of every relationship you have ever been in and can compare and contrast for future relationships using this tool. I have used pre-interaction cues which are non verbal impressions to determine whether you want to interact with a person and then changed my mind about the person based on cognitive cues which are strong factors in creating long lasting relationships through forming a psychological connection.

Chapter 6 Discussion Question #1

The pattern I think would be the most difficult to change is competitive symmetry which is when two individuals fight for the one up position. I think this pattern would be the most difficult to change because it requires one person to back down taking on a more submissive role. It is like a power struggle. I think competitive symmetry would be the most damaging to a relationship because it puts the two individuals in a constant state of fighting to feel superior over the other person. I also think that competitive symmetry would have the most potential damage to the self esteem of the individuals involved because someone would always be feeling they had lost while the other person would feel they had won.

Chapter 12 Discussion Question #3

A concept from chapter twelve that I found useful and interesting is culture and role identity. I found this interesting because we all value things like age so differently throughout the world. In America we want to stay youth like whereas in countries like China age is viewed as a way of growing wiser. I also find it disturbing that the difference between men and women is so large in the Middle East and Asian cultures. I think women in these places are treated as commodities that can be bought and sold rather than as a member of the family. It makes me very happy to be an American and in the ethnic group I belong to.

Chapter 12 Discussion Question #2

The thought that Americans hold three basic beliefs about human nature: that humans are at heart rational; that humans are perfectible; and that human nature is highly susceptible to social and cultural influence is quite interesting. I find myself only believing in two of the three premises. I think that the rationality premise, the belief that most people are capable of discovering the truth, is a premise that falls true to human nature and also because if the resources available in our world today. I also think that mutability premise which assumes that human behavior is shaped by environmental factors is also quite true. We are a product of our environments and this premise is basically stating that. Some examples of social institutions and practices that are based on these beliefs would be universal education and non democracy type American Institutions.

Chapter 12 Discussion Question #1

I completely agree with anthropologist Ruth Benedict that we are “creatures of our culture” and that our habits, beliefs, and impossibilities are shaped by our culture. I agree because I notice many cultural differences in my life that are very different from my friend’s lives. I come from a very close knit Italian family. We celebrate birthdays and holidays together even if it means one part of the family must travel a few hundred miles to be together. Another thing I notice about my family that I find to be quite rare is that everyone has at least a bachelor’s degree. That is a custom started in our family by my mother’s generation. It is not an option whether or not you go to college, everyone just does. I think we can break through the limits of our culture by exploring and learning about other cultures without bias. Going outside the comfort of our culture is healthy in that it teaches us not to be ethnocentric and devalue others cultures just because they are different then our own.

Capone's Mom