Chapter 5 Question #3

A concept that I found both useful and interesting from this weeks reading is Personal Space. Personal Space acts as a kind of portable territory that we carry with us where ever we go. I chose to discuss personal space because I find it is one of the most violated and ignored nonverbal messages. I personally can not stand it when someone stands to close to me in line. I feel like they are breathing down my neck. Being only five foot one makes me feel even more vulnerable because most males are taller than me and I feel like the tall people out there are running us short people over. When you are talking to a friend it is often less uncomfortable if they invade your personal space because you know them as well as when you are with a person you like. On Friday I went to the bank to withdraw money. There was a line with about 5 people ahead of me and about 8 people behind me. I was very annoyed because the man standing behind me kept creeping into my personal space. To rememdy this I would scoot up a little closer to the person in front of me who was still a considerable distance away. When I would move up so would he. I was then doing what I absolutely hate, violating the personal space of the person in front of me. I felt very uncomfortable being crowded and felt like saying back off but didn’t because I didn’t want to look like a jerk. I think people really need to respect others personal space.

Chapter 5 Question #2

I have lived in the bay area my whole entire life so I have not encountered regional differences in nonverbal meaning. I also have not traveled to other countries so I have not experienced the nonverbal messages from their either. Some things I have learned from working at a bookstore in the past and reading a small book called Notes for Licensed Vocational Nurses is that each culture reacts differently to our nonverbal messages. One of the topics emphasized was making eye contact. They discussed eye contact as disrespectful in the middle east culture. They said that women were taught to not look men in the eyes because this was a sign of challenging authority. It was also very similar for Asian cultures to not make eye contact and to remain very quiet throughout your interaction with them. This was to show respect. I think the two are different because one culture uses no eye contact to show respect and the other uses it to dominate. I personally use eye contact with my nonverbal behavior because I think you can speak volumes with your eyes.

Chapter 5 Question #1

I think at some point in life we have all misinterpreted the meaning of someones nonverbal message. My husband is espescially hard to interpret because he always keeps his guard up for the most part. When we were first dating I interpreted his shyness as not being interested in me. This was due to the fact that most of the other guys I had dated were total creeps and very forward, so when I dated my husband and he actually had manners and acted like a gentleman I mistook that for not being interested in me. Ends up he was interested in me and here we are almost nine years later. He could have avoided me thinking he wasn’t interested by communicating more openly with me about his feelings. I could have not placed expectations on him as to how I think a guy who is interested in me should act. Interpreting nonverbal messages is not an easy thing to do since most people already have stereotypical (for lack of a better word) views on what they think some gestures mean.

Chapter 3 and 4 Question #3

The concept I have chosen to use is Expressiveness from chapter four. I picked this concept because I found it to be both useful and interesting. Expressiveness/Expressive Cultures are open when it comes to emotion. I found this interesting because it points out the different values in our cultural belief systems. Whereas eloquence is valued in my culture, it is not valued in other cultures. I find what the author states to be very true that the European Americans are somewhat in the middle of the spectrum. We are not overly emotional, but we are also not overly passive with our emotions.

Chapter 3 & 4 Discussion Question #2

I agree that men and women use language differently. Men tend to use more text oriented messages that are short and sweet, while women tend to go into greater detail with their messages. An example of this is when I hear my husband talking to someone he works with. He is non emotional in his message and just says straight out what he wants done or needs to be done very bluntly. I on the other hand approach these types of situations much differently. I try to make sure that what I am saying comes out as kind and I am not blunt. I think I actually use a lot more emotion in my messages than he does. Men and women are very different and it shows espescially in the way they use language.

Capone's Mom

Chapter 3 & 4 Discussion Question #1

I believe it is not possible to perceive others without in some way judging or categorizing them. The reason I believe this is because everytime we are in the public eye whether it be at the grocery store or a fancy restaurant we are constantly checking out the people around us to compare them to ourselves, either to boost ones own self esteem or to make you aware of what you are lacking. I know my husband always gets a kick out of going to quickstop and seeing the 40 year old white trash clerk who is missing teeth because it makes him feel good about all his hard work to get the job he currently has. He feels very greatful for his career choice as an engineer, yet also superior to the clerk who he has judged to be white trash. This is horrible to do, but because of the stigma media has placed on material things I don’t think it is possible to not judge. I notice I find myself often judging women by the type of purse they carry. If they carry a Louis Vuitton I tend to view them as having money or trying to give the impression that they have money, espescially if it is a fake. You can actually learn to tell the fake bags from the authentic. I think the people who are carrying the fake bag are trying to be judged by others as having money though they either don’t or are to cheap to buy the real thing.
As long as we are in the media age I am not sure that we can make our judgements more fair. All that is talked about is who is on top and wears the most expensive items or has the most money. Sadly I think we have used this as a scale to measure our own and others self worth and class level. We should try and look at each person as an individual and not a member of a group. We also should get to know someone on the inside before making a judgement as to what we see on the outside.