Thursday, March 12, 2009
Chapter 5 Question #1
I think at some point in life we have all misinterpreted the meaning of someones nonverbal message. My husband is espescially hard to interpret because he always keeps his guard up for the most part. When we were first dating I interpreted his shyness as not being interested in me. This was due to the fact that most of the other guys I had dated were total creeps and very forward, so when I dated my husband and he actually had manners and acted like a gentleman I mistook that for not being interested in me. Ends up he was interested in me and here we are almost nine years later. He could have avoided me thinking he wasn’t interested by communicating more openly with me about his feelings. I could have not placed expectations on him as to how I think a guy who is interested in me should act. Interpreting nonverbal messages is not an easy thing to do since most people already have stereotypical (for lack of a better word) views on what they think some gestures mean.
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ReplyDeleteI like that shyness meant lack of interest. I am learning peoples views of signals from the other side of the dating game. I can relate to mixed signals when it comes to the person we are with. People are often showing signals telling us their level of attention, interest and behaviors in general. I am always throwing the girl I am dating mixed signals because she thinks she knows what my nonverbal signals mean. I always shake my leg like I am nervous but in fact I had drank a lot of water and needed to find a washroom. Another time she thought that I was tired because I stretched my arms but in fact I was soar from the gym and I wanted to fix my posture from the chair I was sitting in.
ReplyDeleteHi Capone's Mom! What specifically did he do to make you think he wasn't interested? Was it facial expressions? The amount he talked to you? Body language? How he talked to you? What specifically was the nonverbal part of his persona at that point that made you think he wasn't interested?
ReplyDeleteThat is a really cute story! I too posted about how I often have trouble "reading" my boyfriend. It's hard to interpret body movements, no matter how well you know the person. Do you feel like it has gotten easier nine years later? This topic was really interesting to me because I think gender differences are fascinating and as we can see from our classmates posts, most of the stories involving misinterpretation of nonverbal signals were about their significant others or at least the opposite sex. I think that it is no coincidence that males and females find it harder to communicate nonverbally as well as verbally.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question...
ReplyDeleteI think I found him to be a little standoffish because he was not exhibiting the same signs of interest like trying to be overly pushy like other guys had done. It is sad that my interpretation of someone being interested in me meant that I had to feel uncomfortable with their actions.